Returning to The Bodysex Circle

I attended my second Bodysex® retreat with Simone Farshi in Nevada City, California. While it was my fourth Bodysex experience overall, it was the first time I moved between roles, first as a participant and then as a Certified Bodysex Facilitator assisting the retreat. Experiencing the work from both perspectives deepened my understanding of what this practice offers and why it can be so transformative.

Before the women arrived, I prepared the room with care, saging the space, lighting candles, arranging flowers, and setting the altar, where offerings could be placed.  I moved through each area slowly, preparing a place for every woman with intention, aware that how we enter the space matters.

As an assistant, I walked each participant into the space, one by one. Standing there, I remembered what it felt like the first time I entered as a participant, nervous, unsure of what to expect, and aware of how vulnerable it felt to step into the unknown. This time, my role was different. I was there to help calm those nerves, offering a warm smile, a hug, a steady presence, and an invitation to pause for a breath together before entering and disrobing. I noticed a visible shift after that pause, and many of the women thanked me for offering it.

As the retreat unfolded, my internal experience shifted. I watched the women react to Simone as she welcomed them, noticing their curiosity, nervous smiles, and discomfort. I found myself observing as a teacher rather than a student. I could feel bodies begin to settle as each woman introduced herself and answered the first two questions.  How do I feel about my body?  How do I feel about my orgasm? This time, as before, I listened while running my own story through my mind, aware of how different it felt two years later.

The first time I sat in this circle, I was still working. I felt the experience deeply in my body and knew it mattered to me, even though I did not yet know how it would fit into my life. I was embodying the retreat while quietly wondering what it might look like to offer something like this for other women. Two years later, I was sitting there again, retired and stepping fully into this path. What had changed was not the questions being asked, but how clearly I trusted my answers. 

There was a quiet awe in the room as I noticed the range of ages, bodies, and life stories present. As the women showed themselves vulnerably, differences became something to be honored rather than compared, revealing just how much beauty exists in our diversity.

Throughout the retreat, I noticed myself showing up in different ways, as a guide, a peer, a supporter, a friend, a mom, an encourager, and a bright light. One of the younger women later shared how meaningful it was to feel the mothers' support in the room, and I was struck by how compassion flowed across generations.

As we moved into the vulva show and tell, I reflected on how late in life I first allowed myself to truly look at my own vulva and began to see myself with curiosity and appreciation.  What I have learned since then is not about comparison or correctness, but about recognition, seeing my own uniqueness and letting it be enough.  Sitting in that circle now, watching each woman share herself with courage, I could feel how far I had come and how powerful it is when women are given the space to witness themselves and one another without judgment.  This is where something shifts for me, when individuality is no longer compared but recognized, respected, and celebrated.

As the day ended, Simone and I carefully reset the space, then went out for dinner. I felt both energized and calm, while she was ready to let go and be led. She asked if I would “be the dom” for her and choose the wine for our meal. She shared that she and her friends take turns doing this for one another when they want to relax into being cared for, allowing someone else to hold the decision-making for a while. I felt honored by the request and ordered with intention, appreciating how simple and meaningful it felt to offer that kind of care.

By the second day, the room felt noticeably calmer. The women appeared more settled, as if the self-consciousness that often accompanies new vulnerability had eased. There was less comparison, less holding back, and more permission to simply be where they were.

This day was devoted to erotic pleasure and learning directly from the body. Through self-touch, focused attention on sensation, and the use of vibration, breath, and sound, the women explored how pleasure builds, shifts, and communicates. We practiced feeling rather than striving, allowing the body to guide pace, pressure, and choice. As the experience deepened, the sounds in the room changed, not quieter, but more personal. Each woman found her own voice and her own way of sounding, free from expectation or performance, letting what was true for her be expressed.

We ended the day with a body massage. Nothing sexual, nothing erotic, simply an honoring of the body through touch, compassion, and loving affirmation. I find myself wondering why it can feel so difficult to care for one another and for ourselves without fear of judgment.

The touch was both firm and tender, offered with presence and care. I felt held and deeply cared for, as something profoundly human and quietly sacred was being honored. There was love moving through the circle, given and received without condition. As I offered my hands and received theirs, tears streamed down my face, not from sadness, but from being deeply moved by what was possible between us. I remember wondering why this kind of care feels so rare in the world and holding hope for a future where we allow ourselves to meet one another with this same honesty and love.

As the retreat came to a close, I witnessed a clear shift toward empowerment. Each woman left more connected to herself, more trusting of her own voice, having chosen herself in a very real way that weekend. There was laughter, tears, joy, and a deep sense of ownership over who they are and how they want to live in their bodies.

It is difficult to put into words how much it means to me to witness women discover that they can claim their beauty, their bodies, and their intimacy. The sharing was not about therapy or fixing anything; it was about being seen and heard. About realizing that pleasure, care, and fulfillment are not things to earn, but things we are allowed to ask for and receive, in our relationships, in our work, and in our daily lives. You do not have to settle.

Simone led with grace, patience, and steady support, inviting each of us to take responsibility for our own experience and to trust our bodies as sources of truth. The foundation of this work, created by Betty Dodson, remains both profound and simple. Show up as you are. Be honest. Learn what you are made of and embrace it.

This retreat affirmed the work I feel called to offer. Work shaped by my own experience of learning to claim my voice without apology, and by the belief that when women trust their bodies and choose themselves, everything begins to change.